Brutality
by collinfan
Summary: " I trust Arthur I do but….he's hurt and I am afraid" they were suppose to kill merlin emrys but arthur had to play hero. now merlin tells us the story of arthur's sufferin, from the hurt, the pain, misundertandings and the truth.
1. the task

The men trampled through the thick underbrush that could only be described as the forest floor. There were massive oaks that watched the band of men as they cursed and hack protruding roots and vies in their way. The steal blade glared in what little light the torch had as it was halted by it's user. Holding out a rough classed hand the others went silent. There commander turned to them. He was an older man, a pristine man, who has been at their king's side for more than a decade. His face scarred with old battle wounds that curved up his jaw into his cold eyes that bore down on them. No one spoke doing so would only cause the man to find reason to kill them. They were meaningless; men from a dozen of different villages, with no money, reeled together to finish a task set out by the king.

"You know what the king asks of you. Make it swift and make it clean, I do not care who does it: just do it. If you are seen I will not need an excess to sever all your manhood's and feed them to the hogs."

His voice was hushed in the silent forest yet it cut through the simple men clear enough. Their eyes flashed in terror at the thought of losing well… their parts. The gathered in to a 'u' formation and made their preparations to be ready to knock their bows.

"But sir, why not take out the prince to? He's an enemy to the king more then this boy-," he didn't get to finish as the general with a fast sweep imbedded a knife into the imbelics' torso. Blood gushed out covering the attacker's hands. He brought his hand forward to grab the matted hair.

"You will find that questioning your king and the mistress Morgona to be a very bad mistake," he growled as the peasants gasped and frothed at the mouth as he dropped to the hard ground.

The others not waiting around pushed into the closed black entwining trees. Knocking their elm bows that were crudely made, they waited. A couple breaths went by when they saw their targets walking across the open field to the middle. They were on horseback and from the look of things to drained to be on guard.

Talien, a middle-aged man with a hawk like nose stuck up his hand to single the others to load the bows. He in turn knocked his. The arrow was thick with Elmwood embedded with crude metal flakes from being rushed to be ready for this night. He closed one eyes to have a better perspective of the situation.

The pair moved around sluggishly as they set out crisped bedrolls and teathed the horses to a near by tree. As the prince directed the other to go fetch firewood, he cursed as he felt the others shuffle their footing.

Blast it all, he thought at the luck, the other's patiences will wear thin at this point! He to felt the strain from marching all day through sluggish waste and the presence of the unnamable evil that whispered in his ears with each step he walked. Glancing up he saw the moon high in the sky giving off enough light, he thanked whatever gods might be out there that his village sleep soundly.

A crack of underbrush brought his attention back to the clearing and he saw their target move closer. He watched as he conversed with his master, but was to far away to hear anything that was passed. The prince's shook his head as he sat by the fire causing the other- their pray- to inch around, his back to them, as he stood behind the prince.

Felling the rush of impatience, he unleashed his arrow. It arced high into the night sky and landed with a curve. The rush of wind from the other arrows rushed passed him and he heard the thunk and cry as it imbedded in soft flesh.

Turing about he lunged onto his left leg and took of not caring if the rest followed. He had done it! He succeed in the task and hoped that the king would be merciful and reward him. He ditched his bow in the shrubs and so did his comrades as they followed hot on his heels.

They were so busy and so rushed with vigor they failed to see what their crude weapons exactly hit. Some missed their target completely by miles: hitting trees, the ground, some disappearing out of site. Except one. The wind covered their ears blocking out any sound so they failed to hear the blood-curdling scream that followed.

"NO! Arthur!"

However, they were ignorant to it all because they couldn't wait to tell the king they had assassinated Merlin Emrys.

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><p>how frighting having all thoses arrows fly and after merlin of all people? i wonderd what happend? please review for me is seem i'm getting a lot of thoses lately and they help me more then you know by letting me know if i should contuine or i'm i am getting better at writing and i love to hear people commets!<p> 


	2. the damm hero complex

this is the first time i wrote in first person for merlin so please be kind if it seemes um oc!

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><p>They took me by surprise. At first, I had no clue to what they were as I listed to Arthur rabble on about the deer he said I let get away from being so loud. The words: you were the one hunting, prat, was on the tip of my tongue, when the arrows-that's what they were-rushed at us. I felt my whole body freeze up as Arthur stumbled to his feet and unsheathed his sword. The fool had to go and play hero when one arrow came right for me.<p>

As if in slow-motion I could see the design of it plain as day. The sharp elm that held the pointed dagger on the end and oh, how it seemed to twist in a whirling motion, sending sap into the air with it. I wondered as I felt my heart race and my skin tinge with cold if I had done enough for Arthur …for Camelot.

It was inches before me and I closed my eyes waiting for the force of the hit but it never came. A second passed by then another when I finally open my eyes, hoping that it I died fast since it was not painful. The arrow was gone and so was Arthur.

Hearing a dreadful moan, I look down to see at my feet; Arthur penndragon, prince of Camelot with an arrow above his chest.

"No! Arthur!" I screamed as I bent down. His skin felt already to cold as I touched him. He gasped and tried to move away causing the arrow to imbed more into his body. For one second he looked at me and I thought I saw a smile.

"You idiot!" I said as his eyes proceeded to role into his head and he shook. I grasped his body to keep him still and I tried something taking all the chances he could be still aware.

Felling the swelling heat tickle, my body and my soul sing, I preformed magic. A simple healing spell I used before.

_Anthic loxez mi_

Nothing.

I shook my head, how could this be and how did this happen? I heard a twig creak and I stood up fearing the enemy could be back if they ever left at all. I was no fighter and even the few fighting spells I knew were no match if it was an ambush.

I racked my brain, which was going a thousand different directions at this minute. I need to get somewhere safe. Come on, I thought as I put my hands underneath Arthur 's arms and dragged him away to the now wild horses, think!

I humped as I tried to lift Arthur onto his horse but the man must have weighed hundred pounds. Pulling him off I situated him so I had more control as I shoved him head first onto the horse sideways. I cried as blood dripped down the horse flank. Their was nothing I could bandage him with since we left Camelot with little belongings because Arthur wanted to hunt light.

"Next time you should listen to me!" I half laughed and sobbed. I need to pull myself together. Arthur is the only hope Albion had, and my friend so I was not about to lose it. Arthur has been in worse situations then this. My shaking hands untied the leather strap and I took the horse and ran southwards.

My feet stumble over the uneven slopes and I lost my footing twice. My thigh burned as if it was on fire but I ignored it. The only safe place around was elador. My home village: the only place where the people knew who and what I was.

The moon passed into the sky as I passed the old winding river I used to wade in when I was a boy and I knew I was close. Arthur's body was pale now and it made me move even faster. I let familerism guide me as I passed just acceptably made house and patches of farmland inside wooden gates. I stopped at a house with two windows and a wooden door. Outside was a woman, my mother.

She looked up and I saw her eyes soften when see set eyes on me. I fell onto my knees and threw up at her feet as she saw the whole situation. My mother with soft hands ran a hand through my hair and asked me what on earth happened.

"Ambush. Arrows. Arthur …took arrow. He's real- really bad."

My breath passed in a gulp through my nose, I caved into a black cave, and I knew no more.

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><p>wow poor arthur he had to go and play hero didn't he. i hope merlin's alright but only time will tell please review!<p> 


	3. hope fading

I awoke with the light of the sun as morning approached. I closed my eyes against the protruding light, good I hurt. I felt my whole body tense as I rolled over onto my side and wondered what the hell I did. I knew I was going to have to get up and soon or Arthur was going to have my head.

Arthur! I thought as my head raced back to last night. Finding a camp, goading Arthur for being a so called worth hunter, the arrows, Arthur taking an arrow for me, and traveling to ealdor. I could see Arthur's s prone form wheezing as blood polled out of his wound.

I sat up and regretted it as I opened my eyes; an immense pain over took me as I stumbled to my feet from the cloth bed and held onto the nearest object. This just happened to be my mother. I felt her lead me to a bench as she sat me down and I groaned looking up at her.

"What happed?" I asked, my voice gravely.

"You fainted, Merlin. You were weary from traveling all the way here, how you managed that with just yourself-and managing to keep Arthur 's wound elevated no less- I don't know. You have a wound to your thigh and I extracted the arrow and tried my best to clean it." She explained as she ran a cool rag over the half-ciricle wound. I glanced down to see discarded bandages soaked with blood and I grimaced. My mother smeared some off yellow cream that lessen the fire it held and wrapped it up again.

"where's Arthur ?" I asked looking around the little hut for the prince. I feared the worst when I didn't see him and my heart quicken its pace as I grasped my mother's fair wrist. Her smile was little though her eyes held worry in them.

"He's over there," she said as she pointed to a mound of blankets on the floor close to the hearth. I could see the glistening sweat on his body as he twisted and turned, his face scrunching up. I let my eyes travel to the tight wrap on his bear chest and gulped when I saw red stained it.

"He is lucky that the wound is not anywhere else on his chest if it had been, he could of died. She said to me, as I walked-well more like limped-over to where he lay. I could really see the damage done to him as his face held a greenish tint to it and his chest heaved in effort with each breath. Why did you take that arrow for me?

I looked to my mother asking her the silent question. She came over and laid a gently hand on my face as she spoke softly. "He is no where close to being out of danger, Merlin."

I backed up and felt my self-hit the table as I looked at her my eyes pleading. At the moment I didn't care who or why those arrows were shot at us. All I cared about was the prince was in danger.

"We are supposed to be like two sides of a coin! I am suppose to make Arthur into the greatest king Albion will ever know, but how am I to do that? I couldn't even heal him with magic!"

I am losing it and I know it. But could you hardly blame me because I bet you would be like this to if your friend was dying.

"Merlin don't loses any hope you have, it's not over. I said he was in trouble but he is nowhere close to dying and won't be If I take care of him like I should. You, Merlin, are not expected to be able to accomplish every little thing, my boy."

I looked at her as she leaned over Arthur and removed his bandages and I looked away from the wound and into the fire, I swear I can see images in the flames mocking me and scolding me. If she says that not all hope is gone then why the hell so I fell so…so damm unuseful?


	4. admitment

A day went by and I spent all that time staring in to space thinking and watching my mother take care of Arthur. Every hour she would feel his forehead and either stroke the fire so the heat was overbearing when he was cool or lessen the sheepskin blankets on him when he was hot. Sometimes he would be in so much pain he would cry out causing him to twist and turn. It was then I had to keep him held down as my mother gave him some herbs. We decided not to contact Camelot because Uther would no doubt have my head. He would probably have it any way if Arthur didn't get better and I returned alone. I would sometimes have to go outside and get fresh air if Arthur stated to wheeze and shake. It was too much for me.

I was not brave in any part of my whole being. Every time I save Arthur, I did it without thinking and rushed head long into it. I think everyone who says I am the bravest one has a cracked head. Some one brave would be able to either sit be their friend's bedside or go back to Camelot to hunt the people who did this, down.

My mother was trying her best to help me and Arthur , and I loved her for it. She would take time to ask me how Camelot was and how I've been. She would cook meals for me and would not eat herself.

One evening as Arthur was finally resting quietly for once, she asked me a question. "Merlin you do know why Arthur took that arrow didn't you?"

I looked up from my bowl of stew and locked eyes with her, her skin was pale and she looked as if she would collapsed any minute. I shook my head, "Because he wanted to play hero."

"You don't believe that do you?" she asked solemnly.

I shrugged and looked into my stew watching the carrots drown into the brown gravy. I knew that wasn't true because Arthur was my friend at least that's what I thought. I mean I knew I wasn't just a servant to him. If I was then I would've been dismissed long ago for my cheeky attitude and he still would be like that day I first meet him: cold and a bully.

"No I don't."

She smiled at me and nodded. She walked over to the fire, filled a bowl with stew, and mashed it up so she could feed Arthur as best as she could. "I thought as much. He took that arrow because he cares about you, you know. I may not see you two that much but you two still amaze me every time I do. I never thought I prince and a servant could be friends and trust one other like you do."

She knelled over Arthur and pressed a spoon to his mouth after she sat him in an up right position. I watched the stew dripped from the spoon down his face and I curled my fist. I listened as my breathing got labored and I stood up knocking the chair away. It causes my mother to jump and turn around as she looked at me.

"If I trust him then why the hell don't I tell him about my magic then? Why, every time I come close to it, I back down and away as if I am afraid what will come from it? I am suppose to be the greatest warlock that their ever was and he doesn't know it-no one does! I can't…don't want to do this anymore. I am tired and don't now how much longer I can take this! I trust Arthur I do but….he's hurt and I am afraid." I said and I slammed my fist onto the table knocking the bowl onto the floor. Mt voice sounded harsh to my own ears and could only imagined what it sounded like to my mother.

I collapsed on the floor and held my head in my hands as I wept. She came over and hugged me I leaned into it. She ran a hand through my hair whispering kind words.

"It's not about trust Merlin, you do trust him. You are afraid of what the consequences would be, not only for you but for him as well. You are powerful and strong and no body will tell you different and neither would Arthur if he knew. As for being afraid it's okay, it really is Merlin. If worse come to worse I know you will give it your all, and I know you have your doubts since I know it didn't work the first time. But I know that in the end it's not being a afraid that gets you through; it's friendship and all that it means."

I nodded and pulled back wiping my eyes as she kissed my on my brow. She walked outside, I didn't question her, and I moved by Arthur and looked at him. I pulled my head down to rest on my knee and I spoke to him, ' you will be just fine you know. Besides some one's has to be able to call me an idiot on regular bases and only you can to that so well."

"I promise Arthur when you wake up and when you start pestering me, I am going to tell you who I really am, okay."

Three days latter on a rainy afternoon hell made it's visit as Arthur slipped into vivid dreams and his fever soared to new heights.


	5. to new hights

I winced as a bloodcurdling scream ran through the hut as Arthur twisted and pounded the floor with his hands. It was no use holding him down, as he would throw me off onto the cold stone floor. He was covered in bruises and none of my mother's tonics were working, all I can do is sit there and listen to the heartbreaking cries torn from his throat.

"Nooo, stop please it burns. Stoop it! Their coming we have to move! Stay- stay there you can't-" he mutters as his eyelids flutter in erotic motions he is cut of by a scream. I crawl over to him and help my mother, who at this point, is at her end. She looks at me and I can see fear in her eyes as she pass Arthur 's head to me. I cradle it on my lap and grab blindly at a small bottle read Elmwood. I tip just the neck of the bottle letting the amber liquid fall off it into Arthur's mouth, but he spits it out.

"There has got to be something we can do!" I tell her as I throw the bottle to the floor. It spins in a circle before rolling onto the hearth, which has been cool long ago. I brace my jaw as Arthur shakes and jostles my now bruised knee.

"we've tried everything we can love, I don't know what else to do. I don't understand, he was just fine."

I bow my head and place a shaken hand on my friend's brow to mop off the sweat. I had no more answers then she did, not even the herbalist in ealdor had any means of a cure. He had been in not a half day ago and he cheeked over Arthur, who then was only mildly as bad as he was now. He had listened to his heart and looked at the wound but held no findings and that gave me ill biddings.

"Merlin! Run please run! Their coming you fool don't stand their. Mer- Merlin don't you're bleeding you can't stop them. Ahhh!"

"He thinks you're under attack Merlin he's in a state where everything he dreams fells real to him! He has to high of a fever it will kill him at this rate if he doesn't knock himself out!'

I covered my mouth with my hand. Why was he dreaming about me getting hurt could it be he remembers to a point? I put my hands on each of his side so I was directly over him. I bit my lip as I preformed a spell I dared only dreamed about.

The words fell off my lip in a graceful manner and I felt my body leave me and enter into another realm: the realm of dreams.


	6. unlawful

It's unlawful for anyone to pass into the realm of dreams. I have heard that in doing so; means a greater chance for corruption to one's soul then anything else on this earth. But right now I don't care if I broken rules set down by magic users before my time. I read in my book that in the realm, you have complete access to the powers with in you and can't converse with the person's soul you have entered.

Looking around I see Camelot but it's not home. The world is fuzzy and weak, it smells like Burt ash, and blackness covers the sky and ground. I look around and see on top of the battlements towards the west side: Arthur penndragon. My feet run across the ground as I cross the ruble steeps and crawl up to the ridge. Arthur is not alone.

Before him is a man; a man twisted in skin and antagonism. He swings a weapon back and forth it's hammer glowing like a star as he leaps forward. I watch as Arthur strides part of the way and holds his own weapon. They clash blades and I cover my ears at the sound.

"You fool! Do you really think you can beat me? You are but a boy to weak to fight. However, I- I am you, penndragon, and what you wish to become. Don't you want the power, the power to rule?" the man's voice echoed as Arthur hesitated with his weapon for a minute. I wanted to shoot at him, tell him this wasn't real it was a dream.

"I could save your friend from his untimely death; he does not have to die. We could find use for him no doubt. Unless you want him to die? He is not meaniful to you, you said so yourself many times before."

I watched as Arthur looked at him and his eyes studied him as if thinking. Would he really do that? I ran over to a broken pillar to get more of a visual and I gasped. I laid there-the dream me- covered in blood and gore. My hands shook as I coughed and tried to raise my head to look up. I had a wound going from my abdomen up to my neck; it was so bad I could see the arties pumping blood.

Yhea, seeing your self-sliping away was enough to send you running. And I wanted to, but I was here hoping to find a cause for Arthur's relapsed, so I forced my self to look away. When I did, I meet Arthur's gaze. His body looked old and worn and his sword far too heavy for him. He took a step forward his eyes quizziled. He couldn't see me that is impossible.

What ever was going to happen next didn't, as the man-the other Arthur – grabbed him by the arm. He snarled as he swung him in an angle and held him under a burring flame. It's orange and white heat flickered and ate at his body as the other Arthur laughed.

"So what will it be then, boy?"

"You are not me! I will never become you, never! I will not fall because I still have to protect Merlin and you will not touch him!"

I blinked and felt my self-hug my mid section as I watched Arthur dangle from with his grasped, yet his words didn't waver. I missed when the monster yelled a battle cry and hurled Arthur through the air making him next to where I was standing.

Arthur groaned as he looked at the other me as clawed at the ground. He drew himself up, pushed up on the ground, and with little strength lifted his blade. He stood over me and growled.

"So you succumb to the poison in your body then, little prince. You shall die then; an un-honorable death and all of those you care about will cease to exist."

He came at Arthur with such power. His body was an enrage inferno as he glowed purple and transferred into a demon. His head stretched to look like a malformation of two heads as his body grew twice it's size and sheathed with horns. Out of it's back were two massive skeleton like wings.

It bore down on Arthur and for a minute, I found myself forgetting this was all a dream. I yelled as I hurled myself into the air from jumping of the pillar. I latched onto the monster and clawed at it's pores skin. It backed up and tried to throw me off but I kept a firm hold on it as it reached behind it's self and took hold of my tunic. I took my let hand and raised it into the air and a goldish orb appeared in the palm of my hand. I smashed into the creatures arm and watched as a hole burned it's way into the skin. Crouching as I dropped, I watched Arthur look at the creature in confusion as it shook it's head and ripped the access skin off his forearm. Arthur took this moment and charged with a gusto as the metal sliced across it's chest leaving a nice line.

I circled back around as it pounds the ground with it's hammer, sending tremors through the earth. It turns it's heads swiftly as it looks at Arthur with green eyes. I gasped because behind it, it somehow manges to create a hammer- a biger and more evil hammer. It's pole was rough and splintered as it's anvil was fierce with engravings and surround by fire. It swung and I yelled.

"Arthur look out!"

He pauses and he see me, I know he does, because he mouths my name and looks to the ground where dream me lies. He twists his body sideways and rolls onto his side dodging the blow of the hammer. Like poison, it draws away the concrete of the ground and it crumbles.

That's when it hits me: Arthur was shot by poison.

I knew how to end this and make Arthur well again; but I need it to go right and hope that he would not remember any of this. I managed somehow to grab Arthur by the back of his shirt and whisper, "Go for the monster when I gave the single only then will it be destroyed."

I gave no time for him to look at me or question me as I brought my hands together.

_Alvian_

My skin got pale as moonlight and I opened my eyes, I didn't know this spell it came to me as it were. Here I could reach my full potential and I was ready no mater what. I pushed a hand forward and I flew straight ahead till I was leaved with the creatures heads. I looked into the eyes and smirked.

"You know, for a beast as powerful as you claim to be, you sure are one ugly basterd!"

I spread my hands palm down and power came through me as I directed it to Arthur's sword. I watched it glow and become sharper and bigger. I floated back and with my palms out, I glared at him and muttered the spell.

_Ego dico super is lux lucis ; is lux lucis of curatio. ego belssed thee Arthur penndragon vinco quod foes is vadum visio werther in mens vel phasmatis_

At that moment, a light of pure gold raided from the sky and ground and tore through the creature's body, it screamed, and withered in torment. It's skin shredded to pieces as it bent over to try and step out of the spell. I looked at Arthur who stood there slacked jawrd.

"NOW, Arthur!" I cried, as he jumped up and ran the blade through the monster as I put my hand to it's flesh. It exploded and time stood still and I gazed at Arthur and he looked at me. Light ran down like stars as all faded to nothing.

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><p>I stumbled back and felt myself being caught, I looked up to see my mother and she looked at me as if I was from the heavens it's self. She sat me down on the floor as I looked over at Arthur who groaned and his breathing evened out.<p>

"What did you do? You preformed magic. That was unlike I ever seemed before Merlin; you- you glowed with such light, that it hurt to look at, yet it was so reassuring." She spoke in hushed frantic tones.

I sniggered and then I laughed making me lay flat on the ground. I finally quieted after a while and wiped away tears as I looked to Arthur.

"He was poisoned mum. I entered the dream world something that is forbidden to people like me. In there his sickness took a form of a monster and attacked. It tried to pursue him to give into it and leave me and everyone behind to die. Never had I witness such strength from him or magic from me. I don't regret it because of this he will live."

She looked to Arthur then to me," I will try not to understand because I don't, but what you did was powerful I now that."

I sighed, yes powerful indeed.

I uncovered the blanket from Arthur 's body and looked at his wound. It still was deep but not angry of death as it was. I laid down next to his pallet to keep watch and as I slipped into the land of node I recalled the power I had held; and how great it felt and the fact Arthur saw me. That scared me because I didn't know how powerful I was or could be and I didn't want to fall to vanity. Would Arthur remember any of it either and I found myself worried.

I also knew this was the beginning of the tale as I drafted off to sleep hoping to see Arthur the next morning awake.

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><p><strong>please reveiw<strong>


	7. once again merlin

Arthur's awoke before I did the next morning. My mother later told me the events that transpired before I awoke. Arthur, when he awoke was disoriented and his eyes shifty. My mother told me that it took her a hell of a time for her to finally get Arthur to become aware of his surroundings. She told me that he looked around the room shakily and when he saw me slouched against the wall he tried to get off the pallets and to me. she had explained to him everything that happened-she left the bit of me and the magic out-that was he woke me up with his gruff and hard voice.

"The idiot did what!"

Yhea that's when I awoke. I sat up, blinked the grog out of my eyes, and turned my head up, to see Arthur's eyes. Only they had a fire in them that made me come more awake. I pushed my self onto my knees and quickly took in his once again flushed face and smiled.

"You know I am right here you dolt, no need to yell."

I felt my smile fall of my face as he scrawled murderously as my and leaned till our noses almost touched. I held his gaze but my hand gripped the blanket underneath me. What the hell, I thought, was wrong with him?

"I find I do need reason to yell, Merlin. Why didn't you save yourself when I got shoot with that bloody arrow?" he said with a low voice.

"You took that arrow for me; I wasn't about to leave you, Arthur I didn't know what to do I thought-." I said back to him as I narrowed my own eyes, but he cut me off.

"Exactly _Mer_lin you _thought_. Every time you use that incable brain of yours, things always, turn out for the worst. You brought me all the way here yourself and not once did you think it might be possible who ever was out there, could've came back! Dammit, this is the last time I think I can deal with you, why I took that arrow is beyond me! Plenty of other decent servants about: ones that can reason well and listen."

I stood there-I stood up during his rant- with my fist balled at my side. I looked at him, marched up to him, shoved a hand to his chest, and yelled, "What the hell! I thought you at least be a little thankful I brought you back somewhere safe, but no! Arthur penndragon thinks my incosivble brain and me are stupid enough to think we didn't know the dangers out there. So excuse me for staying at you side and make sure you get better because I thought we were friends. God, how stupid was I! I wish for once in my life, you did die! And you think you can't deal with me, well the same here! You can go back to Camelot alone, sire!"

He looked at me and raised a hand up in the air, for a second I though he might slap me, I really did. But he just yanked the front of my shirt brought my forward and pushed me away roughly so I landed on my ass. The bench was knocked over as I bumped into it. My arms curved around the bench, my feet spread out, and I looked up at him. I was shocked yes, but I mange to get up anyhow and looked at him; to my mother who watched the whole thing from inside the small-anointed room.

"I'd be more then happy to go back alone! Till then you will serve me as a servant should."

I stalked to the door and through it opened a few vases danced along a wooden shelf.

"As you whish sire," I said my voice cold as I slammed the door and ran.

As far I knew as I stood on the hill over looking the village, that Arthur penndragon was not felling the same as my: like a hole had been ripped through me and the word friend shattered into a million pieces.


	8. a knack

Over the course of the next few days, I acted like nothing happened. I would tend to Arthur but would not speak or look at him. He acted the same except more cold and hateful. I didn't understand how a person could be so unrepentant to some that has always had their back. Then again maybe that was royalty and everyone who was royalty behaved as so.

My mother tried to talk to me about what happed but I just shook my head and told her I didn't want to talk about it. She said Arthur had no right to do what he did and maybe it was a spur of the moment thing, I laughed. That night at supper I sat in the back corner of the hut and watched the candle light glistened, I dreaded tomorrow for two reasons that hurt to think about.

"I need you to go and wash my tunic," someone said as they moved in front of me. I froze and looked up. Arthur was in front of me with his red tunic in one hand his other was at his side. I stood up and snatched it away from him brushing past. I wanted to tell him to wash his own damm tunic because, what's the point of making me do this stuff if he fired me, and I was not going back with him? Perhaps it's to get a laugh out of it, I thought as I grabbed my cloak off the hook by the door.

"Merlin," he said and I stopped. I looked over my shoulder and looked at him as he grasped the table; he was still a little weak but good enough to travel. I bit my lip hoping that maybe he was going to apologize.

"I don't need you to take all night with this task. I need you to pack me some things so I may leave tomorrow. Don't bother to come to Camelot to get your stuff I'll have it brought here by my new servant."

I nodded and gave a bow as I headed outside to the lake that wasn't far from where the hut was. I crouched down and put the fabric in the water as it got heavy with water. I threaded throw my fingers and yanked it out and threw it. It landed in a mud puddle.

I sat down with a thump and brought my hands through my hair. What have I done to deseve this, I thought, I thought I was doing something good. Something he could thank me for and see that I'm not an idiot. He's suppose to be my friend or was he was playing that up to? That dream though, he was going to save me, just as he did for real. But dreams take many twist and turns it doesn't mean anything. He saved my life to get attention or have his father's praise no doubt.

I sighed and looked out into the woods as the leaves in the tree fell to the earth, it was going to be fall soon, and tomorrow would not be just another day. I reached my hand out and brought the shirt back to the water to scrub off the grime.

_So it ends_

_The lies_

_You see I think that's all it was_

_A ploy to laugh at_

_A reason to shine_

_Never again will fall for it in this life_

_I am not broken_

_That's what you see _

_However, I am_

_I thought I did right by calling you my friend_

_But in the end it was all a big laugh_

I shook my head as I folded the shirt. I always had a knack for poetry in fact Arthur was one of the people that said it was one of my worth if not useless traits, but it was probably a lie. I frowned as I started back to the house and gave Arthur his shirt. He didn't look at me. I curled up in the pallet of blankets and drifted of to sleep the poem in my head and my heart beating about tomorrow.

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><p>i wonder what's so spesical about tomorw please reveiw<p> 


	9. this is also the day

The next day I found myself in the biggest elm tree I could find, sitting on the longest branch and watching the sky. My legs dangled as the wind blew my hair tousling it but I paid it no head. Today was not a pleasant day. I had packed Arthur's things long ago, as he slept and left the house. I was no stranger to the stares I got from the others in the village nor did their whispers hold any secret. They knew what today was. I lifted my head to the sky, breathing in fresh air and wondered at the ironies of it all.

I heard a distinctive toll of a bell and I let my eyes go over to old man's Edith's yard. He was letting the cows out into the pasture. I could make out his old hunchback form as he swatted at them good-naturedly and they snorted at him. I pull my shoulders together as a memory of my past tickled at me.

I was a young boy and I was running through the fields and laughing as the cows looked up and seemed to be rolling their eyes. I was laughing as the willow wisp took of into the forest as I ran through them. I stop though, when I see a group of villagers huddled together. I push past them, they look down on me with sad and scornful, disgusted eyes, and I don't know why. Then my mother comes through and they murmur softly but she just smiles. She takes my hand and leads me home. I recall asking her why the people were like that and she answers with a soft voice, "I think its time for you to hear why the village people act the way they do around you, my son.

Pursing my lips I turn away and push all memories aside, I would not fall to the past because it hurt too much. I leaned back and took off my cloak letting it hang over the old branch wondering if Arthur left yet. Not that I cared cause I don't, at least he doesn't anyway.

Though it seemed that it's possible that he was starting to regret what he had done as I passed him this morning, either that, or he had picked up on my attuide. I felt his eyes on me when I came back into the hut after I finished my chores. I didn't talk to him at all as I pushed past him, took a piece of fruit, and walked away. I didn't even say good morning to my mother, but then again she was just as much pain as I. much more pain.

The forest was quite when I hear a twig crack; I sat up fast and looked about. There, standing right below me, was Arthur. He was dressed in his normal tunic and white breaches instead of the riding cloths my mother had given him. He pauses and runs a hand through his hair as he licks his lips.

"Have I forgotten anything for your travels, sire?" I asked him schooling my voice.

He shakes his head and looks around before moving out of my sight and for a minute, I thought he left and decided that coming up here was a mistake. Then I hear the tree branch underneath me crack and a rustle of leaves as I see a blonde head crawl up the tree branch. He stops to catch his breath but slips on a pool of sap. He gasp as he almost losses his balance but I catch him. Pulling him up to the branch I am perching on, he sits down.

He says nothing and I recess the erge to snap at him and tell him to go away. Then he does something that surprise me and I think him to. He turns to look at me and in a fast movement catches me in a brotherly fast hug. I struggle against him and he lets me go.

"I'm sorry Merlin. I acted like a complete and total prat, I should've thanked you, but I didn't. You risked your life to bring me all the way here, something most wouldn't have done."

"You said that was a stupid idea," I said to him half shocked he is even apologizing to me, even now.

"I- I was mistaken. I think- I know- that was wrong of me. I don't regret taking that arrow you know and I have you to thank for me sitting here at this moment."

I hold my breath. Did he know then about the magic I used, surly not. He would remember the dream then. I glance at him and I see his face is shadowed.

"All I did was help my mother, because you are my reasonability, Arthur.'

He swallowed, "when the arrows came out of the forest and I saw one come after you, I- the first thing I thought was to protect you. I did and this may sound stupid, but when I was hit, all I was afraid of, was that taking that arrow was not enough. They would come and get you anyway. That's why I yelled, because even upon awaking; I still thought that. You went out of your way to put up with me and have had my backside more then once and I believe I can't return the favor. I shouldn't deserve a friend like you"

His cheeks were red as I looked at him and blinked.

"You're right, that is stupid," I said and he looked up at me.

"Because you shouldn't risk your life like that, No one should. I don't protect you or risk my life because I feel I have to owe you something, Arthur , because that's not the reason I stand by you. I stand by you because you are my friend. I didn't mean what I said about wishing you would've die because you are also Albion's only hope- and mine, I thought- and I am sorry, too."

He nodded, "I guess we are really screwed aren't we? I mean I think we are the only master and servant I know of that has each other's back as we do."

"Yes," I whispered. "And the only ones that are able to stand each other's snide comments and your ego."

"He smiled at me and I knew things would be ok for now do I turned and watch the sky and felt a little bit of happiness. Arthur turned so his back was against the tree.

"Merlin, I know why the village and your mother seem so distraught today. I over heard one of the villagers talking about it and they also came over and sat with your mother."

I bit my lips, pulled my knees up to my chest, and bowed my head. I didn't want him to know about it, but I knew that would have been impossible even if he had left Ealdor early and we didn't make up.

He laid a counseling hand on my back and spoke softly, " I know today is the day word reached Ealdor about your father being killed. I am sorry Merlin, truly, I might not have known him, but I am sure he was a great man and died an honorable death if some one was to bring that message all the way here. I am sorry you never got to meet him."

I felt tears fall down my hands and slip onto the tree and my shoulders shake. Yes, my father died today and my mother knows of it, in fact the whole village does because I sent her a note, telling her of it all, but Arthur didn't know this. In fact, he didn't know that was not the only reason for the villages' actions, "Today is also the death day of Edina. My baby sister." I said to him as I looked up through him through my tears.

His hand froze and he slowly brought his eyes down to mine, and I knew I would have to explain.

Bet you didn't see that one coming, huh? I wonder what happen to her and why the village acts like it does to Merlin? Could it have to do with the baby's death?

**Please review and I shall hope to have the next chapter up soon but won't finish the fic till probly the 24****th**** since I am going on vacation with the family. So please, don't abandon the fic I will finish it and maybe if I am lucky earlier then I plan!**


	10. the sister

"Merlin, I didn't know you had a sister."

I raised my eyes to meet his and said simply, "No one does really. The village, my mother, and Gauis know. My father did too, and now you."

He shook his head and his blue eyes, which normally held amusement and cheer, now held grief and sadness. "What happened?"

"My mother and father eloped and she got pregnant with Edina. The pregnancy went well and all but, when she got close to delivering, something went wrong. She told me she got really sick and it somehow tainted her and the baby's blood stream. She told me she went through hours of pain and the child was born cold. The doctor in Ealdor at the time was Gauis when he made frequent stops. He told my mother she was not put on this earth to have children."

I closed my eyes and imagined the pain my mother went through to bring a child into this world, only to have it born tinged with ice and tainted blood. I let out a shaky breath as Arthur laid a hand on my arm, "But Merlin, you are here."

I laughed, "The only reason I am here is because my mother tried again with my father. They were both heartbroken. I was conceived and my mother went through childbearing again. Gaius warned her that I might not make it and the village called her a fool's hope. But you see I was born in perfect health when, in reality, I was not supposed to exist at all. My father left before I was born."

"So your father left because he did not want to deal with another loss?" Arthur asked, angrily.

I shook my head "no, he left before my mother even found out I was conceived. He didn't want to, he had to.

"The village thinks I am a sin rather than a blessing. I am not welcome here and they make sure that I know it. Will was my only friend until…."

"Until what?" Arthur asked.

"Till I came to Camelot and met Gwen, the knights, Morgana," here Arthur flinched, "and you. I found somewhere I was at least held in regard to."

Even if I could be executed if I was found to have magic, and my head mounted on a spear by uther, I thought grimly.

Arthur smiled and climbed down from the branches and hit the ground with his feet. He winced a little but moved on. I looked at him and wondered where he was going. He called back to me.

"The village may think you're a sin Merlin, but you aren't. You do have a reason to be on this earth. One we may not know of yet. Your sister died so you may be born and that is a blessing. Now come on, I am sure your mother doesn't want to be alone. She doesn't blame you, you know."

I hobbled down and took off after Arthur down the hill. I had never looked at it like that, and Arthur was right. Though I wished she had lived and I had a sister, without her and my mother's hope, I probably would not have been born.

However, I thought as Arthur and I walked into the house and greeted my mother with a smile, Arthur, in a way, is just the same as me: his mother died so that he could be born.

My mother pulled us into a hug with unshed tears in her eyes. She mumbled something about being glad we were friends again as she made us sit on the bench. Arthur apologized and I figured Camelot would be fine without us for one more day.

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><p><strong><span>please reveiw<span>**


	11. the end for now

When we finally left for Camelot and made it to the gates we were…um… not greeted warmly. Uther himself came out, in all his glory, and yanked Arthur off his horse and demanded what he was thinking when he went out without informing him, and why the _hell_ he had been gone so long for.

Arthur, who was feeling calmer than Uther, unlatched his arm from his father's and knocked his head at me, "we went out hunting and were attacked. Merlin here carried me all the way to Ealdor and nursed me back to health along with his mother. I am sorry I didn't tell you, father, I had no idea of the…problem we would encounter."

Great, Arthur, I thought as everyone looked at me, way to go.

I somehow gracefully got off the horse, looked at Uther, and bowed. He crossed his arms and glared at me.

"You took care of my son, boy?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at the king. God he was worse then Arthur! I nodded,

"Yes, my lord. There was an ambush and Prince Arthur was wounded. I took him to my home village seeing as it was close. I didn't think to send a message as I feared the men might be watching in the woods."

I saw Arthur blink in surprise at me and then look to his father. Then, Uther turned around and asked us to follow him. We did and were led to the room off the great west wing.

It was a big room and filed with maps, charts, and such. Uther closed the door and spoke with his son.

"These men who attacked you, do you know who they were?"

I waited for Arthur to say that they were after me and he didn't know why. It was weird because, now when I thought of it, my spine shivered and I wondered who would be after me and why.

"No I don't. I didn't get a good look at them; it was an ambush."

Uther tuned to me, "and you, boy?"

I closed my eyes and tried to recall. I didn't see anyone personally but I did remember things in the shadows and images. I was trying to bring the pictures into clearer focus when Uther slammed his hand down on the table.

"Cigan's men!" I all but shouted.

He looked at me and then to his son as he rubbed his chin and sighed. He took out an old map and looked at it.

"If it was Cigan's men, then he will strike again, and soon. I don't want you to go anywhere without someone, Arthur, is that understood?"

Arthur nodded and he motioned for me to walk out of the room. We made our way back to his room and then I grasped him by the arm.

"What?"

"I wasn't lying when I said those men were Cigan's, but I don't think he is controlling them by himself. He would have no reason to go after me or know who I am."

"You think he's working with someone, someone with a grudge against you?" if anything that made him look more worried.

"Arthur," I paused and looked down the hall to make sure no one was around, "I think it might be possible that Morgona is influencing him and his men. She has many reasons to go after me. Don't try to ask me what they are because I can't tell you, not yet."

He was so angry that he hit the wall with his hands causing me to back away. He slumped against the wall and muttered, "That bitch."

He looked at me and saw how I had moved back from him he muttered an apology and stood up.

"It's just that she played everyone and hurt not only my father but GWEN too, because they were friends. And now she's going after you, Merlin. You are my best friend and…that wench doesn't know when to quit."

He looked at me and smiled grimly, "if that's so then there will be a battle upon us. And we will have to fight.

"There wouldn't be anyone I would rather fight next to, Arthur. I have your back."

He nodded and we went to his room to plan how to tell Uther. All the while I thought how true it was and how lucky I was to have Arthur as a friend.

_Cliffy! Well, the battle will commence in the sequel: to fight and to fall!_

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><p><em>see that litte button down there? can u click on it for the boy's sake?<em>


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